Jesus said that even if you only lust after a man or woman, without the physical contact, you have already committed adultery with that person in your heart. Just think how many times viewers of porn have committed adultery.
You have heard that it was said to those of old, "You shall not commit adultery" But I say to you, whoever looks at a woman to lust for her, has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Some may say that watching porn or lusting after a person without the physical act is totally harmless and it won't cause anyone to cheat, I disagree, its one thing to be happily married and you can still appreciate the beauty of another person without lusting whether that "hot babe" neighbor of yours in Apt 7A or that Mr. "McDreamy" you encounter each day on your way to work each morning, its another thing to lust after that co-worker or your spouse's best friend etc not to mention the fact that watching porn is disrespectful to your spouse.
The more you think about having sex with someone other than your spouse, the more its burned into your mind and you start thinking of ways to make it a reality, the thought or image of you, engaged in hot and heavy sex with this person or even those porn pictures that you hide under the bed, is burned in your subconscious and it will make you want your spouse to imitate what you've seen or you'll try to seduce and have sex with the person you're lusting after.
The saying, out of the heart; the mouth speaketh is not an empty phrase.
What if you were chatting online with someone, and you felt that you had so much in common with,
"Wow, my spouse does not know me as well as you do, we just have this powerful connection" or maybe you were chatting back and forth, engaging in a lot of sexual banter trying to outdo each other about what you want to do to each other sexually and how fast or slow or long you want to do it, Meanwhile your spouse is innocently in the bedroom watching TV totally unaware of your sexual chat going on fast and furious just feet away in the next room,
Can you honestly say that that is not cheating and that its just bravado, having fun and it will never go anywhere, we've both set limits, we know how far to go? Do you really?
What if you were at work and you were talking to your co-worker, whom you've known for years, you've had the occasional "how are you?" over the years, but now you've had a few conversations with one another, you're feeling good about all the attention you're getting and the conversation
turns to sex and you end up sharing a long, slow, wet and passionate kiss and you feel bad about
it; but reason, "I won't let that happen again" My spouse doesn't have to know; it will only make things worse, what she / he doesn't know won't hurt her / him "Would that qualify as cheating?
You don't have to engage in physical contact to have committed adultery and even when it does get physical, whether a passionate kiss, a "loooonger" than usual hug or that "dirty talk" its still cheating. Physical Adultery, just like a toddler learning to walk, starts with very small steps, lust builds into fantasy and can lead into masturbation or going out to make your lust fantasy a reality.
Romans 12: 2 says that we are to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Replace those lustful thoughts with Godly thoughts, spend time in the word, ask God in prayer to forgive and take away the lustful thoughts.
Instead think about how I can be a better spouse, stir up some romance with your beloved spouse, you know the one who you pledged your undying love to before God and 250 of your closest friends and family at the wedding? Yeah That One 🙂
Galatians 5: 16-17
I say then, Walk in the spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh, For the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. in other words guard your heart, cheating and sex in general is everywhere in the media, so you must be strong.
Your lust outside of your marriage could be a sign of bigger relationship problems you might be having with your spouse and that requires communication or if need be, christian counseling, it may be a part of one or both spouses not getting their needs met, as in emotionally or sexually; but it takes two people, making the effort to work out their marital problems, with God at the forefront for it to really work.
Cheating, whether physical or not can lead to violence, a feeling of betrayal, family dysfunction, emotionally scarred children, divorce and distance from God, God is of purer eyes than to look upon sin, the Bible says in Psalm 66:18 that if I regard iniquity in my heart, he (God) will not hear me. So if you're a cheater, you will likely get caught or if you are tempted to cheat, work on your marriage.
Drink water from your own cistern, in other words, Desire only your spouse sexually, you have your lovely bride or gorgeous hunk of a husband, why destroy your marriage and relationship with God by lusting for some floozy / jerk by thinking that the grass will be greener on the other side (it never is).
So what if the young woman paying attention to you is "hotter" than your wife. You're already taken and besides, outer physical beauty is only skin deep? So what if he has "Movie Star" looks, is 6ft4in and he makes you laugh and feel like a million bucks, lots of women will eat up the attention; but you don't have to, he probably won't really love you; but is rather trying to charm you out of your clothes. Love is not just a feeling; its a commitment.
Again, communicate any hangups you might have with each other, seek God Together and work it out and despite what a recent ABCNews column might say about cheating being more "culturally acceptable", it most definitely is not acceptable in God's eyes.